In Pride we trust?

It's a very grey, rainy Tuesday morning here in San Francisco. In fact, the downpour hasn't slowed in the past three hours. The cloud is low - and from up here in Twin Peaks, all I can see of the skyscrapers in downtown San Francisco are a few shrouded silhouettes, lost in the mist.

It's a world away from the sun and rainbows and warmth of this weekend's festivities: the 41st annual San Francisco Pride Celebration & Parade.

Now I'm a veteran of more than a handful of Gay Pride celebrations: my Pride cherry was popped back in London in 1993. At the time, Pride in London was still a relatively youthful and vocal 21 year old, whilst I was 19; wide-eyed and impressionable. And I loved that experience. I was awestruck by our sheer numbers, and made giddy by the feeling of strength that came from that. I loved the sense of camaraderie and shared celebration. It was something that I'd never experienced before - and I just lapped it up.

And since then I've done bite-sized and bucolic (Oxford), brassy and boozy (Manchester), slick and staged (Sydney) - and so I was looking forward to experiencing the daddy of gay prides here in San Francisco... which (along with New York) has been around the longest of all.

And, you know what? Rather than enjoying the confidence and maturity of the best years of your life, this 41 year old is having a bit of a mid-life crisis. Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want out of life?

And watching someone deal with their midlife crisis is never a pretty sight...

The Parade itself was a muddle of competing and contradictory niche causes: the Pink Pistols (a gay gun shooters group) armed with sex-toys, under a banner of "Rubber toys don't stop bad boys" (What the fuck?) followed by

pacifist lesbian vegetarians, gay christians walking in a march with gay humanists, our stridently independent Dykes on Bikes leading a parade that behind them includes women in bridles and

reins, pulling their men behind them in carts, whilst being swatted with riding crops. I can feel the most tenuous of rainbow threads between these groups straining to hold things together.

I mean, planning the parade order must have been like seating the most bitchy of dinner party guests: "Oooh, we can't have Planned Parenthood sitting next to the gay Catholics - they might not live-up to their name of 'Dignity San Francisco'...!"

Where was the consistent theme? Apparently, it was "In Pride we Trust". But what on Earth does that actually mean? What about Pride do we actually trust? Since my first euphoric, Damascene conversion to the cause of Gay Pride in London in 1993, I've lost my way. I'm not sure I believe in the power of these congregations anymore. So, rather than "In Pride We Trust", I'd paraphrase as "We hope that we can wring another couple of years out of this train-wreck before it all goes bust".

But, (and I'll get my trusty soapbox at the ready), wasn't this an opportunity to take-up a current cause? To make a statement? To shout, and demand and clamour? We had the massive victory for marriage equality in New York the day before. Where were the demands to achieve those same rights here in California? (We were waiting for someone to sing to the tune of New York, New York: "If I can (boom, boom) MARRY there, I'll marry (boom, boom) ANYWHERE...")

And it was just too damn long. We didn't manage to last-out the entire parade, having stood around on Market Street from 10.30am, it's hard to maintain interest when there are 10-minute gaps between floats, and so at 1.30pm (after three hours of standing around), we decided to call it a day. Never mind the quality, feel the LENGTH!

What the hell was with all the religious groups? And all the bloody politicians? Do we all have some form of rainbow-induced amnesia? But doesn't anyone remember the fact that the church (or, more accurately, organised religion) and the State have been happy to crimininalise and demonise us for years (look at this link, you can see that in the US, gay sex only became legal for a MAJORITY of the US population around 1985...). Now, I'm MORE than happy to have representatives of both friendly religious sects and supportive political parties...but why are they spending their time filling our Pride Parades, showing us what liberal, gay-friendly people they are, when they could be spending time with their colleagues in their churches and mosques and house and senates and halls, sharing their gay pride THERE, persuading their colleagues about how much things should be changing. I mean. If you REALLY wanted to help, why are you spending so much time preaching to the converted.

And whilst I'm at it, why was there so much enthusiasm for the brands appearing in the parade? I know that lots of people enjoy using Facebook and Google - but reserving the biggest cheers for these groups seemed kinda empty. Maybe I'm just a softie, but the volunteers from the health promotion and human rights charities had fewer representatives, and less impressive banners and balloons. But they are doing something for the community beyond

simply selling us stuff. Judging from the brands in attendance, gay customers are most profitable for banks (Wells Fargo, Bank of America and Chase all had large - and very sparkly - floats), Airlines (Virgin America's float was WAY better than United's....but where were Jet Blue and SouthWest?), Health Insurers and internet brands. And didn't brands used to sponsor a charity, support a cause to get their bit of publicity? We've now got so used to them to commandeering OUR space, that we let them advertise away, without any requirement to DO anything for us.

OK, OK. I know it's a cliche. But Pride marches' stock in trade are hot guys in speedos and hot chicks waving their bare-breasts about. How come we had plenty of the latter, and not much of the former? The closest we got was the Bare Chest Calendar guys...but, as my boyfriend said "they weren't so hot...I couldn't even be bothered to take a photo". So, sorry bare-chest guys, but we have been given such high expectations! I may contradict myself on the point about commercial brands in the parade, but of all those underwear brands (2Xist, Aussiebum, Calvin Klein, even Nasty Pig) not one could find time in their schedules to reward some of their dedicated customers with some tottie-on-a-truck...?

And I guess the fact that I'm lamenting the lack of my kinda eye candy begs the question: who IS the target audience for Gay Pride? Is it 'By Us, For Us'? Or is it about providing a shop-front for what the gay community has to offer the wider world? My experience is that it falls down on both of those. It's too niche-gay for the wider community, but too dumbed-down, too diluted and commercial to be an authentic celebration of what WE have to be celebrate about about being gay.

So. It seems sad to say it, but at 41 years old, I think it's time that SF Gay Pride hung-up it's rainbow and retired to the 'burbs.

Milk, Riots, Doves and Hawks

As a newcomer to San Francisco (and also someone who has a protestant work ethic when it comes to being a tourist), a visit to the GLBT Museum in the Castro was on my To Do list.

And the timing seemed perfect. That Sunday was Harvey Milk Day, a state-sanctioned holiday to mark the birthday of Harvey Milk, the first openly-gay elected politician in California, who was assassinated in November 1978. Although I knew of him, like many, I only really understood his role in the politics of gay liberation through the 2008 film, starring Sean Penn.

Harvey Milk is inextricably linked with the Castro - a place where he lived and worked, his political powerbase (so much so, they called him The Mayor of Castro) and his legacy. Like many gay men in their 30s, I don’t have any recollection of the historic context for the life of Harvey Milk. The gay rights movements flowered in cities like New York, London and San Francisco in the 70s, but I grew-up in the 80s - a child of the AIDS generation - when being gay was more linked to tombstones and Clause 28 than free love and liberation. So, I have a fascination with what it must have like - the fact that the social mores and behavioural norms were so different; the palpable sense of change that (I imagine) must have been in the air.

I'm also intrigued by the sense of community and drive, the optimism and possibility that seems intoxicating in these jaded and cynical times of ours. It was clear that significant number of people within this 'movement' were giving-up the prospect of a ‘normal life’ to fight for their cause. There was a sense of life & death importance around the issues that they were dealing with - people were harassed, in danger of losing their livelihoods, subjected to widespread verbal and physical abuse, often estranged from their families...

To me, in my comfortable 21st Century gay life, it often feels like the war is over. I guess like many of the ‘struggles’ for equality, we’ve reached a glass ceiling. We’ve reached a comfortable plateau.

That’s why it was interesting to learn of another anniversary: last Saturday was the 32nd anniversary of the White Night Riots. Lots of people know about the seminal influence of the Stonewall Riots - 10 years earlier - that signified the start of a concerted gay rights movement. But I had not heard about the White Night Riots, where thousands protested the verdict on Harvey Milk’s killer (voluntary manslaughter - the most lenient conviction possible)

One thing that I find so interesting about these events is that they were unplanned and sponteous - and resulted from a flash of anger, an explosion of outrage. What made this seem so powerful was that it was such an awakening. A rising anger amongst a community that had fought and won their first victory, they had seen the power in their hands.

And then had it taken from them. Their democratically elected leader had been assassinated. And the establishment had seemingly closed ranks and allowed his killer to get away with murder.

And so there was a riot. It started as a peaceful demonstration, but the frustration and rage couldn’t be contained, and ended in damage to property and injuries to both protesters and police.

Here’s the rub. When the media interviewed leaders in the gay community over the following hours and days, they couldn’t find a single one - not one - who would apologize for what had happened. Now, by no means am I condoning violence as a tool for political campaigning. My starting point and credo about conflict resolution is always that non-violence should be the way. I guess that’s why I’m so intrigued by this instance of the gay community benefitting from an unapologetic outpouring of violence and aggression. And that seems so, well, "un-gay".

In the history of gay politics the White Night Riots were a turning point. To quote Wikipedia again: “This led to increased political power in the gay community, which culminated in the election of Mayor Dianne Feinstein to a full term, the following November. In response to a campaign promise, Feinstein appointed a pro-gay Chief of Police, which increased recruitment of gays in the police force and eased tensions.”

So, I’m kinda forced to admit - maybe I should take a leaf out of the American history book, put away my dovish tendencies, and get both angry and get recruiting?

Link to post on: So, what gets me angry these days?

In the Land of the Free, shouldn't we campaigning to promote our way of life in other countries? If America can use interventionist policies to protect its national interests abroad,

shouldn't the United States of Gays do the same? Why shouldn't we be using our hard-earned Pink Pounds (for the Brits) or (even more cheesy) our Dorothy Dollars to secure rights for our brethren in other territories? Look at the way the Mormons intervened in the Prop 8 argument in California. And US evangelicals are exporting anti-gay rhetoric to Africa. Well, shouldn't the gay rights lobby be doing the same?

Is it time for the Gay Hawk?

Angry, middle-aged and gay

So, what gets me angry these days?

Well, for one, our “I’m alright, Jack” mentality. It means that we don’t look outside our own day-to-day lives, that we forget that “there but for the grace of god, go I” and it makes me mad. Living here in gay nirvana in San Francisco, it’s so easy to get trapped in that bubble - but we have a responsibility to see beyond the end of our own - erm - noses, and have a view on what's happening beyond The Castro or further afield than Old Compton Street.

I mean, you just have to take a cursory glance at the online news feeds to know that being GLBT in many parts of the former communist bloc (look at what's happening in Russia or Poland) or almost anywhere in Africa (such as recent developments in Cameroon or Uganda, where governments are actively and aggressively persecuting gays) or countries with governments based on fundamentalist religion (sharia law, anyone? Iran shows us the way!)..... and yet how much pressure are we GAYS putting on these countries to protect these minorities?

And, then I guess, the second thing that really gets my goat is the sense of complacency that goes hand-in-hand with those geographic blinkers.

We still need to fight
Looking into our own backyards, and it's clear that the battle has not yet been won. And the rights that we have fought for CAN be taken away. There are people in power in the US who want to take away the rights that LGBT people have fought for decades to secure. Just a couple of examples:

1. The Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) aims to enshrine discrimination against same-sex couples by actively excluding them from federal benefits that ‘traditional marriage’ allows. The Obama administration has announced it's dropping its defense of the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in court. Republicans have moved to defend the anti-gay act.
2. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell when repealed last year - a historic end to the discrimination against gays serving in the military. (The first legal challenge was in 1975, by Leonard Matlovich, who’s tombstone is marked not with his name, but with the words: “When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one”) But there are attempts to delay implementation of the repeal, and to reverse this decision

Things can go backwards

And then further afield there are salutary lessons for us in what can happen - look at Kabul in Afghanistan. Last year, Liam Fox (UK Defence Sec) got into hot water for calling Afghanistan a “broken, 13th century country”.

But, it wasn’t always like that. Afghanistan was developing into a modern and cosmopolitan state in the 1960s. It was the first Asian country to have women in parliament, and had already dropped laws requiring women to wear the burka. Afghan women pursued careers in medicine; men and women mingled casually at movie theatres and university campuses in Kabul. In the 60s and early 70s, Kabul was famed as an exotic stop-off point on the hippy trail between Europe and India. It even had M&S! The first Marks & Spencer store in Central Asia was built in the mid-60s in Kabul. But those rights (including, obviously, the right to M&S knickers) were rolled-back following the Saur Revolution and subsequent Russian invasion. And now we’re back to burkas, segregation, male-only education, sharia law, stonings...

Some things are getting worse not getting better.

Kids who are growing-up gay are experiencing an increasingly aggressive anti-gay environment in school. Increasing levels of visibility, means that we’re bringing homophobes out of the woodwork.

So, what’s a thinking gay to do?

Make the personal political

• Join a campaigning group like HRC or Stonewall
• Write a letter
• Get out on the streets

Make the political personal

• Stand-up and be counted. As Andrew Sullivan says, the power of our lobby is that we are everywhere. In every country, in every family. Being ‘out’ is a radical step
• Challenge bigots to re-think. (I just love the excuse to repost this - but it works)
• BE ANGRY. And talk about it!