A paean to my Raiders family

When I lived in London, a large part of my social-life was built-around my softball club: The London Raiders.

Being a Brit, and never having played the game during my school years, the decision to take-up softball might be considered a strange one. After all, I had a modicum of ability and experience with other sports that are more traditionally 'British' - and enjoy much higher levels of participation and better  facilities than softball.

Over the years, I talked to lots of new Raiders, and heard lots of stories as to how they ended-up joining the club. My story has elements in common with many others. 

I had already been in London for a couple of years, having moved from Oxford to be closer to my boyfriend, and to fulfill the expectation - that so many young gay guys have - that they'll spend some time living in the Big Smoke.

However, after a couple of years, the gloss of London had worn thin - I was getting weary of the partying and over 'the scene'. And I was yearning to find some friends of my own, and to forge a social life that didn't revolve around the friends that my boyfriend and I had in common. 

And that's where softball - and the Raiders came in.

In my first few sessions, it became clear that softball in the Raiders was about two things. And softball was a clear second. "The Raiders are a drinking club with a softball problem" was an oft-quoted mantra.

But that wasn't really the nub of it. The thing that really drew me in - and stopped softball from befalling the fate of so many other of my 'flavours of the month' - was that it was genuinely, and shockingly, friendly. And to a jaded, and ever-so-slightly cynical me - that was revelatory. People who would say hi. People who take an interest in who you are. People who would give you the time to practice your swing or your throw or patiently explain the infield fly rule, and when you should and when you shouldn't take a few steps off the base... 

And, of course, it quickly became more than that. The Raiders become not only my sunny Sunday afternoons, but quickly my Tuesday night practice, my Friday night boozing and bitching session, my Saturday morning early start to stumble to the station and get to the tournament...

...and with spending so much time with this bunch of people, I started to make friendships that were founded on a game, but ended-up being so much more than that. 

So, on a recent trip back to London, it was an absolute treat to be able to spend the day with a bunch of Raiders at the Diamond 3 tournament, catch-up on old friends, and get to play a couple of games - to prove that I still had it in me!

Now one of my oldest and greatest friends from the Raiders, recently (and very eloquently) took me to task about the post I wrote about Gay Pride here in San Francisco... and contrasted my experience of Pride here, with his day with the Raiders at London Pride. It made me sit-up and take note that I was, indeed, being a little churlish. So, as a counterpoint to my pessimistic tone about Pride, here are some of the the things to L-O-V-E about the Raiders and about the possibilities of real community in the Gay Community.


Open to all
Nobody has to be invited into the club. You don't have to 'make the grade'. There are no entry criteria, no judgements on your ability (or lack of it) and no implicit standards around how you need to look or act to fit in. Being genuinely and transparently 'open to all' is so rare. For me - like many - the experience of team sports is so coloured by memories of highschool PE lessons, where the sports-field was a trial of popularity and physical prowess.  In the Raiders, there are clearly differences between ability - but there is no pecking order. Sway in the club not dictated by play on the field.

Sport for all

This isn't to say that it's not about The Game. That's what binds the club together. You have to love softball. But what allows everyone to feel an equal 'ownership' of the game (and the club) is that equal importance given to delivering a meaningful softball experience to everyone. The club is not in existence to support the first team. Or, indeed, to cater just for the needs of the beginners in the development squad. The club tries (and to the most part delivers - although in this area one can most feel the seams of the rainbow straining) to give a highly competitive offer for those that want it - and a more recreational softball experience for others. And the two can (and should) support and feed each other.

Competitive and Recreational

And for me, that strength in depth of competitive and recreational softball is a key pillar of the club. I loved doing both. It's great to play at the highest level, slug it out with the competitive teams, focus on performing. And it's great to play beerball, have a laugh, play with a bunch of new people, have fun. Cheer each other on. Delight in each other's success. Having the biggest back-up group. EVER.

LGBT (the mindset, not the label)

Most people (I think) come to the Raiders not just because it's a friendly place to play softball. But it's a friendly place to play softball with other LGBT people. (This is definitely going to form the basis of another post around what makes Raiders an LGBT club - and what that means for the composition of the club)...but in the wider community in London I love the fact that the Raiders are carrying that rainbow flag. Years ago, it was all a bit of a joke (cue sniggers and the occasional snide remark from the straight teams that we played in the GLMSL). But over the years, our strength in numbers added to our impact in the softball community, have meant that the Raiders are an important and valued component of softball in the UK. People tend to snigger less. And they're more used to getting beaten by an LGBT team. The fact that - as the largest LGBT softball club in Europe - the Raiders walk in the London Pride march and play in the Gay Games /  Out Games is important. Our size and history give us an important role in being visible within the wider sporting world. Some of the stories from the early founding of the club are fascinating, but the history of the club is a microcosm of the history of the gay community in London. Many don't know that the 80s pop icon (and gay liberation campaigner) Jimmy Sommerville played a crucial role in the founding of the club!

The club that plays together stays together

Providing all those opportunities to play softball is one thing. But the thing that really makes The Raiders special is what happens off the field. For me, The Raiders were a ready-made softballing, socialising, LGBT London family. I LOVED how it was so easy to fit-in, become a part of the gang, and gain a sense of belonging. I think there's a melancholy in many LGBT people - we set ourselves apart as young adults, so keenly feeling our difference from the mainstream. So, the allure of really being part of a gang is so strong. 

Strength from diversity

Having grown-up in small communities (I only lived in small villages until I went away to University aged 18) I'm very conscious that the bigger population, the more people fracture into smaller sub-groups. So, for a gay guy in San Francisco, there are so many sub-cultures that I actually don't encounter at all. Never have I lived anywhere where my social circle is comprised of people who LOOK so much like me. Kinda frightening. Whereas, as a kid, I grew-up in schools where (with 40 people in your year group) you HAD to at least rub-along with everyone. It was just too small for sub-groups to function. And that made me realise how interesting it can be when you can't choose your friends. They're just the people that you have to hang-out with. The Raiders are a little like that. It's a melting pot of gay men and women, new gays/old gays, rich/poor, fat/thin, hirsuite/hairless, young/old, parents/childless.....and I think that makes the club stronger. I mean, I don't know how else I would have become friends with Malaysian [correction: Singaporean] lesbian doctors with babies, canadian social-psycologist drag-queens, Kiwi lady PE teachers.....you get the idea. 

So, as I start the new Fall season here in San Francisco....London Raiders, I salute you!