Do you know the game Top Trumps?
It was a playground favourite of mine. Played behind the school kitchens during recess (or "playtime" as we called it back in early 80s Britain). In retrospect, I was always quite quick on the uptake when it came to games - both the childish type and the ones we spend our adult lives working on - so maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much when I was maybe 6 or 7 years old. It was a practice run for the real-life comparisons and everyday competition that are a part of adult life.
Much has been talked about when it comes to the sexualisation of society. Botox Mom being the latest example of adult concepts of attractiveness or success being imposed on children (beauty pageants for 5 year olds, anyone?) - but there are plenty more of them out there.
As a young man, growing-up gay, I also transitioned into a world beyond "playtime", where the adult games that we played were so much more serious, and the potential spoils so much richer. I'm often reminded of Top Trumps, and how it's the stakes that change - not the games.
The "gay community" has historically defined itself in relation to "the straight world". And we have our own unique twist on the criteria for attractiveness and success. It is an interesting case study on what happens in a free market, when all regulation is removed. Consumer power rules! Buy! Buy! Buy, baby!
Sexual consumerism gives us a way of assessing our value - both as buyers and sellers. And that's what brings me back to Top Trumps. The lesson that this game teaches is all about competitive advantage. What have you got that is better than the people you're competing with? And this was the lesson that I learned (the hard way) when I did my 2nd growing-up as a gay man. In a perfect market, everyone can see who's got the broadest shoulders, the bluest eyes, the best butt or the optimal height...
How's a guy to compete? And how's a guy to come-to-terms with his place in 'the pecking order'?
- Self-improvement: Any wonder that they used to hand out a gym membership with your membership card for the international homo fraternity?
- Switch to a new market: Supply and demand.... if what you're selling is fat & hairy, then hawking it to a crowd of muscle-chasers is a hiding to nothing. Whereas in Bear World, fat & hairy is the gold standard
- Move the goalposts: If you can't compete on biceps, try comparison against educational attainment. If 5'7" just ain't making the grade against a shade over 6', well, then maybe a $50K higher salary can help you walk taller.
It is the essence of Top Trumps that helps the underdogs of the gay world cushion our egos. It's a move from the simplistic view of erotic capital, (that the straight world seems to be waking-up to) - but a broader sense of the worth that individuals have to offer...and a clearer understanding of heterogeneous sexual demand, and the proliferation of what constitutes 'the ideal' in our gay commodity market.
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